Sharing Infidelity

Posted on January 23, 2012 by Brad

For many members of Generation X – Americans born between 1961 and 1981 – “sharing” often has a negative connotation. Sharing sexual partners spread HIV/AIDS in the 1980s and 1990s. So did sharing needles. In the 1990s and 2000s, we learned that sharing ideas leads to lawsuits and lost fortunes.

So it is of little surprise that members of Generation X, now parents, are horrified to learn that their teenage children are sharing their online passwords with their boyfriends and girlfriends (you can read about it here). Where did Generation X go wrong?

Marriage. Marriage is where Generation X went wrong.

To its credit, Generation X is committed to better marriages than it experienced as the children of Baby Boomers. As a result, the divorce rate has dropped almost 30% since the early 1980s. However, it still hovers around 45%, which is tragic.

What does this have to do with teenagers sharing their online passwords?

According to a study by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the past five years have seen a dramatic rise in the amount of electronic data used as evidence in divorce hearings. Generation X is using private e-mail accounts and social networks to carry out its extramarital affairs.

Kids see the damage to relationships caused by online privacy, and they respond by eliminating the privacy. They share. Generation X may fault this logic, but I see something kind of beautiful in choosing romance over privacy.

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Sexting Tips

Posted on December 5, 2011 by Brad

I recently received a list entitled, “50 Sexting Acronyms Every Adult Should Know.” There was no citation. No author. Just a list. It was distributed presumably as a warning that sexting is an epidemic among kids, so adults better learn what these kids are saying.

Let me tell you, the list is fabulous.

The acronyms are crude, complicated, obvious, inventive, and, I began to expect, not commonly used.

I decided to test a few of the terms.

First, I asked my new research assistant, a recent college graduate, about some of the more innocuous acronyms. She was clueless.

Next, I sent a text to a college freshman that I have mentored for a number of years. Here is that exchange:

Obviously, the data from my little exercise are anecdotal at best. However, my suspicions are confirmed by a new study in, you guessed it, Pediatrics, which concludes that sexting is atypical behavior.

For example, the researchers found that only 1% of teens have sent sexually explicit images of themselves from their mobile telephones, which is a stark contrast to the 20% or more reported by some special interest groups.

I was starting to feel smug. My instincts about those “50 Sexting Acronyms Every Adult Should Know” seemed correct. Then I realized, the list is meant to help adults with their own sexting. You see, it turns out that sexting is more prevalent among adults, 30 to 49 years-old, than it is among teens. You can read about it here when you are not texting K4Y, 143 and GNOC.

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From SpongeBob to Bosch

Posted on September 12, 2011 by Brad

A new article by Angeline Lillard and Jennifer Peterson in Pediatrics indicates that four year-olds have a difficult time focusing immediately after watching nine minutes of a fast-paced cartoon (i.e., SpongeBob SquarePants). You can read it here.

A recent article by Costas Karageorghis and David-Lee Pries in the Sport Journal describes ten years of research indicating that fast-paced music helps individuals increase the intensity and duration of physical activity. You can read it here.

An unpublished account of my own wife’s behavior indicates that she cannot fall asleep to True Blood on HBO.

I mention these three separate observations to make this point: the best paintings, sculptures, television programs, music, movies and other forms of mediated reality change the observer. They motivate us to laugh, cry, reflect, or move.

Expecting that a good, fast-paced cartoon would doing anything but motivate kids to jump around is as absurd as expecting that an exhibit of the collected works of Hieronymus Bosch would motivate patrons to bake cupcakes.

We all want our children to focus, to concentrate, to be healthy and to use their abilities to the fullest. Conflicting reports and “magic bullet” solutions only make this harder. It is why I object to the tone of Lillard and Peterson’s article. Banning fast-paced cartoons is not a panacea. It will not guarantee improved academic performance, but being a parent might.

Kids need parents. They need parents to create environments where success can happen. According to Lillard and Peterson’s data (which I believe), this might mean not allowing our kids to watch fast-paced cartoons (or play high-energy videogames, or listen to fast-tempo music) before or during studies. It might mean setting an appropriate environment, with the right lighting and sound, for sleep. It also might mean using Tom and Jerry to motivate kids to move around and get that much-needed physical exercise.

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