Author Archives: Brad

Pro Bono

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Keith Ablow – a member of the Fox News Medical “A-Team” – is encouraging parents to forbid their children to watch Dancing with Stars.  Ablow believes it could be harmful for kids to see Chaz Bono celebrated as star.  He is worried that children might believe that the answer to their insecurities is to do what Bono did and claim a different sexual identity. You can read it here.

I could not disagree more.  I believe that the presence of Bono on that program creates a perfect opportunity for parents to interact with their children about sexuality, about courage, and about standing up for oneself, even when doing so is difficult or unpopular.

But am I being hypocritical?  After all, I made a similar argument about Bristol Palin.  I wrote that having Palin on Dancing with the Stars sends a confusing message to vulnerable kids that might be interpreted as, “have an unplanned pregnancy as a teenager and you will be a star.”  You can read it here.

So why do I think that my recommendation and that of Ablow are different?

Palin freely chose to have unprotected sex.  She may have been reacting to pressure, struggling under a lack of moral guidance, or experiencing issues with her self-esteem, but she made a choice.  It is a choice that all adolescents are making or will need to make.  Palin’s situation is relevant to all teens, and teens will, as Ablow correctly states, model the behaviors of successful individuals.

An impressionable teen could rush out and have unprotected sex in an attempt to emulate Palin.  In contrast, an impressionable teen cannot rush out and have sex reassignment surgery to emulate Bono.  The standard of care dictates multiple mental health assessments, intensive therapy, and extended “real life experience” living as the gender one identifies as.

Curiosity about the sex act is a normal part of adolescence, and so is, as Ablow also correctly states, insecurity about one’s sexuality.

What is not normal is a long-term, strong and persistent identification with another gender and a long-term and persistent discontent with one’s own biological sex or gender assignment.  That is called Gender Incongruence, and there is increasing scientific evidence that it is not a mental disorder, but a physical one that is successfully rectified with surgery (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders [DSM], the authority on mental disorders, currently is revising its classification to account for these scientific findings).

So am I being hypocritical?  What do you think?

As I await your judgment, here are some questions for both Ablow and me:

Why didn’t we object to Holly Madison as a Dancing with the Stars contestant?  She is a star because she underwent breast augmentation to pose nude for Playboy.  Should we worry about teens modeling Madison’s behavior?

Why didn’t we protest Kim Kardashian’s appearance on the show?  She was unknown until she made a sex tape with Ray J.  What lesson can teens learn from her?

Finally, can’t we both agree on a better TV program to recommend?  Let’s see, Dancing with the Stars premiers on September 19th opposite The Sing Off on NBC and Two and Half Men on CBS… Um…  How about a good book?

 

Kids for Cash

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Justice is blind, and it has heightened her other senses. In particular, she has an uncanny ability to hear the rattle of jewelry. Nowhere is this more apparent than juvenile court. Kids with resources (e.g., money, attentive parents, community support) receive different treatment than those without.

When a poor kid and a rich kid commit the same crime, the poor kid is more likely to be detained, less likely to be placed into diversion programs (a process that allows kids to avoid formal court processing), and more likely to be sentenced to a correctional institution. It is a fact. You can look it up. As an example, I have posted Arizona’s report on juveniles processed in the juvenile justice system here.

But that is not the subject of this post.

The subject of this post is former Pennsylvania judge and malfeasant, Mark Ciavarella Jr.

From 2003 to 2008, Ciavarella received $1 million in payments from the builder of two juvenile lockups for keeping those facilities full. In doing so, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court determined that Ciavarella violated the constitutional rights of about 4,000 kids by denying them the right to legal counsel and the right to intelligently enter a plea. Kids without resources were particularly susceptible to his judicial abuse.

Today, Ciavarella was sentenced to 28 years in federal prison. You can read about it here.

I believe the event is worth celebrating, but it also is another sad reminder that kids need adults. Kids need adults to set boundaries, to model positive behaviors, and to protect them from the likes of Mark “Kids for Cash” Ciavarella.

If there is a kid in your life that is involved in the juvenile justice system and you believe that her or his constitutional rights are being violated, you probably are right. Contact one of the many nonprofits centers that advocate for the rights of kids in the justice system. The Youth Law Center is a great place to start. You can contact them here.

Let Grandpa Drive

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Be honest. Do you worry about your kids’ safety when their grandparents, your parents, drive them places? Do you worry about your safety when your parents drive you places?

A little bit?

A lot?

One of my daughter’s grandparents drives like a New York City cab driver; all acceleration and breaking with no in-between. (I can write this even though they read this blog because I know he/she will think I am referring to one of the other three.)

But it is not just their behavior behind the wheel that frightens us, is it? Grandparents are horrible when it comes to seatbelts and child safety seats. After all, they did not need them when they were raising us, and we (the lucky survivors) turned out OK.

Well, fear no more!

A new study published in Pediatrics, my favorite academic journal, reveals that our kids are safer driving with their grandparents than they are driving with us. When their grandchildren are in the car, grandparents get into far fewer accidents than parents do when our children are in the car. Moreover, when there is an accident and children are in the car, children are twice as likely to be injured if they are riding with their parents than if they are riding with their grandparents.

I know. I was shocked, too. But the research is solid.

Before I let grandparents off of the hook too quickly, I would like to note that, when they are driving alone, people over the age of 60 are more likely to be involved in accidents than younger adults. Moreover, the study also found that children who drive with their grandparents are less likely to be optimally restrained.

The study’s authors conclude that grandparents adopt safer driving practices when their grandchildren are in the car, which is awesome. Our parents love our children, apparently more than they loved us.

If you let your kids’ grandparents drive your kids, do so with increased confidence and the warm feeling that comes from knowing how much they care about their grandchildren. Then check the safety belts.