Keith Ablow – a member of the Fox News Medical “A-Team” – is encouraging parents to forbid their children to watch Dancing with Stars. Ablow believes it could be harmful for kids to see Chaz Bono celebrated as star. He is worried that children might believe that the answer to their insecurities is to do what Bono did and claim a different sexual identity. You can read it here.
I could not disagree more. I believe that the presence of Bono on that program creates a perfect opportunity for parents to interact with their children about sexuality, about courage, and about standing up for oneself, even when doing so is difficult or unpopular.
But am I being hypocritical? After all, I made a similar argument about Bristol Palin. I wrote that having Palin on Dancing with the Stars sends a confusing message to vulnerable kids that might be interpreted as, “have an unplanned pregnancy as a teenager and you will be a star.” You can read it here.
So why do I think that my recommendation and that of Ablow are different?
Palin freely chose to have unprotected sex. She may have been reacting to pressure, struggling under a lack of moral guidance, or experiencing issues with her self-esteem, but she made a choice. It is a choice that all adolescents are making or will need to make. Palin’s situation is relevant to all teens, and teens will, as Ablow correctly states, model the behaviors of successful individuals.
An impressionable teen could rush out and have unprotected sex in an attempt to emulate Palin. In contrast, an impressionable teen cannot rush out and have sex reassignment surgery to emulate Bono. The standard of care dictates multiple mental health assessments, intensive therapy, and extended “real life experience” living as the gender one identifies as.
Curiosity about the sex act is a normal part of adolescence, and so is, as Ablow also correctly states, insecurity about one’s sexuality.
What is not normal is a long-term, strong and persistent identification with another gender and a long-term and persistent discontent with one’s own biological sex or gender assignment. That is called Gender Incongruence, and there is increasing scientific evidence that it is not a mental disorder, but a physical one that is successfully rectified with surgery (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders [DSM], the authority on mental disorders, currently is revising its classification to account for these scientific findings).
So am I being hypocritical? What do you think?
As I await your judgment, here are some questions for both Ablow and me:
Why didn’t we object to Holly Madison as a Dancing with the Stars contestant? She is a star because she underwent breast augmentation to pose nude for Playboy. Should we worry about teens modeling Madison’s behavior?
Why didn’t we protest Kim Kardashian’s appearance on the show? She was unknown until she made a sex tape with Ray J. What lesson can teens learn from her?
Finally, can’t we both agree on a better TV program to recommend? Let’s see, Dancing with the Stars premiers on September 19th opposite The Sing Off on NBC and Two and Half Men on CBS… Um… How about a good book?
