Sharing Infidelity

Posted on January 23, 2012 by Brad

For many members of Generation X – Americans born between 1961 and 1981 – “sharing” often has a negative connotation. Sharing sexual partners spread HIV/AIDS in the 1980s and 1990s. So did sharing needles. In the 1990s and 2000s, we learned that sharing ideas leads to lawsuits and lost fortunes.

So it is of little surprise that members of Generation X, now parents, are horrified to learn that their teenage children are sharing their online passwords with their boyfriends and girlfriends (you can read about it here). Where did Generation X go wrong?

Marriage. Marriage is where Generation X went wrong.

To its credit, Generation X is committed to better marriages than it experienced as the children of Baby Boomers. As a result, the divorce rate has dropped almost 30% since the early 1980s. However, it still hovers around 45%, which is tragic.

What does this have to do with teenagers sharing their online passwords?

According to a study by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the past five years have seen a dramatic rise in the amount of electronic data used as evidence in divorce hearings. Generation X is using private e-mail accounts and social networks to carry out its extramarital affairs.

Kids see the damage to relationships caused by online privacy, and they respond by eliminating the privacy. They share. Generation X may fault this logic, but I see something kind of beautiful in choosing romance over privacy.

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Toy Fair Fare

Posted on February 14, 2011 by Brad

I recently was hired to work on a project with Neil Howe. Along with his partner, William Straus, Neil coined the term “Millennials.” More importantly, his work has contributed in a profound way to how we think about generations, their different proclivities, and their particular approaches to relationships.

As I went to Toy Fair yesterday, I was thinking about this. In particular, I was thinking about Generation X and its relationship with its children. After all, the toys at Toy Fair all are being marketed at the children of Gen Xers.

What does that mean? To understand that, people who study generational differences tell us that we need to step back and look at how Gen Xers were raised. Generation X is the progeny of working and divorced parents. Under-parented, Generation X looks to create for its children the childhood it never had. My observation and analysis of other data suggests that Gen Xers also are looking to relive some of that lost childhood.

So as I was walking through Toy Fair, I was looking for toys that:

Promote interaction between children and adults
Have multigenerational appeal

Two items that fit these criteria are Spot It! and Boom Whackers.

Spot It! is a new game from Blue Orange that takes some of the elements of the classic Go Fish, expands the paradigm, and presents it all in a colorful and portable package that Gen Xers can take with them for them and their children to play in restaurants, at the park, or anywhere the opportunity or need to play a game presents itself. Blue Orange says it is for children 6 years-old and up, but believe me when I say that 4 and 5 year-olds will enjoy Spot It! as well. Watch a demonstration of the game here:

Boomwhackers are tuned percussion tubes that create specific notes when struck. If you are a Gen Xer, and you want your kid to play along as you strum through a U2 medley, just give him or her those tubes that are in the key of the songs you are playing. Once he or she understands the joy of making you music, you can introduce the other tuned Boomwhackers tubes and teach him or her to play melodies. To my point, enjoy a video of some teens in Germany playing the White Stripe’s “Seven Nations Arm” and the Tetris theme on Boomwhackers:

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Abstain from Palin

Posted on November 17, 2010 by Brad

Bristol Palin and her Dancing with the Stars co-contestant, Jersey Shore’s the Situation, are in a new commercial promoting abstinence. I cannot tell you how happy it made me to type that sentence.

Bristol’s postpartum pro-abstinence stance is not new. Just last year she appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America saying, “Regardless of what I did personally, I just think that abstinence is the only … 100 percent foolproof way to prevent pregnancy.”

Bristol is correct, of course. I personally believe that all teens should be taught abstinence as an alternative to sex, just as I believe that all teens should be taught safe sex and the proper use of contraception.

However, I do not believe that Bristol is the best spokesperson.

Back in the 1990’s, it was popular to use young recovering addicts in drug abuse prevention programs to offer real-life cautionary tales to teens. On the surface, it seemed like a great idea: these speakers talked with authority, they could relate to their young audiences, and they were real.

It turns out that these programs had an effect opposite of what was intended.

Instead of a cautionary tale, many teens inferred from these speakers that they too could abuse drugs, recover, and become the center of attention.

These programs actually increased drug abuse.

Similarly, I am worried that too many teens will look at Bristol and see a young woman whose unplanned pregnancy as a teenager made her famous, landed her a spot on Dancing with the Stars, and afforded her the… opportunity… to hang out with the Situation.

If you have a child who is entering adolescence, talk with him or her. Do not assume that he or she knows how you feel about premarital sex. Make it explicit. Make sure he or she understands the real consequences of teenage pregnancy – like poor educational outcomes for the baby and unhealthy and unhappy relationships for the parents – and make sure that you are your child’s role model, not Bristol.

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I've Been Talking to Your Kids

Tag Archives: teens

Sharing Infidelity

Toy Fair Fare

Abstain from Palin